If you could find one activity that burned 1000 calories in one day, while doing nothing other than living your life would you do it? Sounds too good to be true, but for twin moms, it is the awesome and exhausting truth; Breastfeeding two babies over the course of 24 hours burns 1000 calories. The group of women who are this awesome is pretty small, so I tried to come up with some ways that anyone could burn 1000 calories in a day while performing somewhat normal day to day activities. Sure, you could exercise for hours on end, but who wants to do that?
If You Have All Day…And All Night
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If you are the most sedentary of us all, you could just sleep….for 16 hours. No joke, you do burn calories by sleeping, but I think even the laziest of us will find it hard to do nothing but sleep, with your body slowed down to its slowest and lowest functioning metabolic processes for 16 hours. And make sure not to get up to go pee, you might throw that number off.
If You Have Like, Three or Four Days
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Everything you do burns calories. Once after reading an article on how people who fidget burn more calories I tried to wiggle my foot and tap my fingers every time I was bored or sitting down. I would not advise this if you are not a natural fidgeter. It will drive you and all those around you crazy. Something I can do naturally? Chew gum. The Mayo Clinic has found that chewing gum burns 11 calories an hour. Great! You only need to chew gum, continuously, for 90 hours to catch up to the 1000 calories your twin mom burns in 24. Sorry bud, you might need to chew harder, or throw in some tap dancing while you are chewing.
If You Want Buns of Steel
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I know I said this list wouldn’t include exercise, but if you find yourself in a position where you are constantly picking up toddlers or garbage, you could say this is an everyday activity. A 150 pound person doing squats, continuously, would burn 1000 calories after only 69 minutes. That’s with no breaks, no water, and no falling over when your legs turn into the fiery gates of hell. Easy-Peasy. Just don’t plan on being able to move for the next ten days. Also, plan on hating yourself for thinking you could do squats for more than 30 seconds.
If You Are A Social Justice Warrior
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I know most of us don’t take into account how many calories we are burning when deciding if we want to put our good name, and face all over the internet for taking sides, but maybe we should! If you happen to be going to a protest where there will be marching, shouting, and fist fighting, how long will you have to stay to burn 1000 calories? Well, if you combine the energy expelled from just the three activities listed above, and don’t add in any variables like resisting the police or crowd surfing then it will take you roughly 90 minutes. This number is of course assuming you are going to be fighting as much as you can and as hard as you can with anyone who will take you on. Holy Moly. Think of how many calories those nursing mothers at protests are burning!
If You Just Love to Gamble
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For your passive aggressive, not to enthusiastic slot machine gamblers,(that means we didn’t account for any victory dances or beating your head against the machine and cursing your bad luck) then you will burn about 58 calories an hour. That means that after 17 hours in the casino, and your entire life savings, you can be 1000 calories lighter. Remember, no sitting down, and don’t stop just because you’ve run out of money, or you won’t hit that 1000 calorie mark. Having twins and feeding them formula might be cheaper.
If You Can Never Stay Caught Up On The Laundry
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Sometimes it feels like there is enough laundry to last until the end of time. And when you try to get it done it feels like you just enlisted in an olympic level marathon. But how many calories do you actually burn doing it? Folding laundry for an hour burns around 40 calories. 25 hours later and you have reached your goal. 1000 calories in the bag! You might also be close to catching up on all that laundry, and it almost fits into the “things you could do in a day” category!